ode to my forbidden love

by Arrow Guillerm

blue face of a girl with closed eyes, resting on someone's shoulder
Say you feel it too, a painting by Sophia Abati (grade 12)
audio: read by the author

I love someone I shouldn’t.

If I had known before, I wouldn’t,

but I’m afraid it’s far too late.

Why must this be my fate?

My love is like no other

or no one would want it rather.

The love of my life does not share the same feelings,

but the feelings of friendship.

Their eyes are a hazel brown.

It is autumn and for that I drown

In the dead brown leaves that scream.

They say my mind is playing a scheme.

In their eyes I can’t help but feel like I’m walking in the park of autumn,

But really I’m going down, rock bottom.

As their greasy brown hair strangles me in this pain,

Their beauty has me slain.

and their smile does more than light up a room.

and I scream because for eternity I am in doom.

It aches my heart when they talk so dearly of their lover.

A new way of torture, my brain discovers

The feeling of breaking my bones and flesh,

My heart loses its innocence, it is no longer fresh.

the feeling of my heart being ripped apart gruesomely,

This nightmare becomes lucid.

The warm, salty tears run down my face as a part of me dies.

My yelps and cries rise.

I know I am worthless to them compared to their one love.

I wish I was their truelove

We hold hands and hug, but I wish for it to be more

as I run to the door.

The walls laughing and closing in,

vomit goes to my throat in fear as my blood goes ice cold.

I think for once I am bold.

I sob for freedom from this ache,

as I reach for the door of freedom from this heartbreak.

Yet, when I open that door, I am in the same room as before,

The same walls, floor, and heart sore.

A room of mockery of the person I yearn.

Why won’t this feeling just burn?

I pull my hand out as I plead for mercy.

The wounds of my broken heart are piercing.

Despite the agony of my pierced heart

I’m forever grateful to see their art,

to see them happily rant about politics.

Love harshly kicks.

I’m grateful to have their autumn eyes and smile in my life.

Even though it feels as though my heart has been stabbed with a knife.

At least, I, their friend, could be by their side.

I am ok, I fakely smile wide.

My forbidden love.


Arrow Guillerm (grade 9)

My name is Arrow, and I am a freshman who loves to create anything and everything. I love to draw and I am going to Japan on a program for teenagers like me who adore the Japanese culture! When I am at home, chances are I am hibernating. When I’m at school, you may see me with these enormous black headphones on listening to Jack Stauber. Though I love my space, I also love being around my two favorite people in the world. My mom and my best friend, whom I am incredibly grateful to have in my life.

what message do you hope to convey to the reader through your piece?

Love is an entity we will never truly understand, and that’s alright. Despite the pain it puts us through, we must keep going with our heads up high. Whatever you are going through, you will get through it.

What is your ideal writing environment?

Silence. Absolute silence, or my music playing. The only thing that typically brings me down is the formal setting where I may write such as a classroom or office. I prefer being isolated in a comfortable space. I want to write in my pajamas and be cuddled by my favorite blanket.

what motivated you to write this piece?

My love for writing and my escape from the real world. Writing down pieces that are so dear to me and could even be passed down and read by others makes me motivated.