Persian Persuasion

By Ellaheh Gohari

SYNOPSIS

26-year-old Fariba Talaee is about to have the wedding of her dreams with her husband-to-be Oscar Smith… if only her mother would butt out of the planning! As cultures collide, Fariba’s younger brother Reza and Oscar’s younger sister Lily find a kindred spirit in each other and look to sow some mischief, that is, if master wedding planner Kelly Manter doesn’t catch them first. Will this wedding be the memory of a lifetime, or will it burn in saffron-scented flames? 

CHARACTER BREAKDOWN

Fariba Talaee: The blushing bride-to-be, Fariba’s as easy-going as they come. She would’ve been fine eloping, but her mother insisted on the wedding, and hey, she does look good in white. 

Oscar Smith: The shy groom-to-be, Oscar adores his fiancee, sister, and parents. All he wants is for both their families to get along, which, surprisingly, they do… in their burning passion to make the wedding more elaborate. It’s a good thing he’s not paying for it.

Delara Talaee: Fariba’s mother lives up to her last name, which means gold, as she believes bigger—and, naturally, more expensive—is better. She means well, but her vision for her only daughter’s wedding is perhaps a bit much for Fariba’s taste. Better not tell her that, though: the only thing worse than an overly-pushy mother of the bride is an angry and overly-pushy one.

Kelly Manter: The best wedding planner money can buy, Kelly’s balancing cultural requests from both sides as she attempts to plan a traditional Persian wedding with modern American customs, all the while managing the bride and groom’s prankster little siblings.

Reza Talaee: Reza’s baby face might fool outsiders, but the 13-year-old is as mischievous as they come. He doesn’t want to ruin his sister’s wedding, but a little fun can’t hurt!

Lily Smith: 12-year-old Lily loves her family, cake, and pranks, and this wedding provides the perfect opportunity to partake in all three. The mastermind behind her and Reza’s schemes, she’s excited to cause a (harmless) ruckus… and hopefully steal some cake while she’s at it.

INT. “Sweet Dreams Bakery,” a cake shop. FARIBA, OSCAR, and DELARA are at a table, a spread of cakes in front of them, as KELLY stands to the side, taking notes on a notepad.

DELARA: Do you think any of these cakes have golab in them? That’s the best flavoring for a cake. Kelly, [she waves her hands in KELLY’s face], Kelly, please ask them if they have golab. [KELLY sighs but goes to check.]

OSCAR: Golab? What’s golab?

DELARA: Fariba! You didn’t teach your husband about golab? It’s rose water, dear, you must come to my house after this and try it.

[OSCAR begins slowly nodding his head. FARIBA rolls her eyes.]

FARIBA: Maman, we have the florist after this, remember? And he’s not my husband yet.

DELARA: Oh, close enough. By your age I was already married seven years! Oscar doesn’t need to choose flowers anyway, I’m sure Reza can help you with that. Speaking of, where is Reza? [She looks around, but comes short.] Oh, it doesn’t matter. It’s settled then, you’ll come to my house, Oscar, and try so many Persian desserts you won’t even want this over-sugared garbage!

FARIBA: Maman! Not in front of the baker!

KELLY [returning]: Uh, no, they don’t have… golab. But they do have all these amazing options! Red velvet, chocolate, lemon, spice, and of course, who can forget the classic vanilla?

FARIBA: All of that sounds great. Thanks so much for arranging this, Kelly. [She moves to take a bite of the first slice when she feels a tug on the table cloth. The plate goes flying.] What the-

LILY [muffled]: Score!

REZA [muffled]: It’s floor cake, do you really want that?

LILY [muffled]: As if you wouldn’t eat it too.

FARIBA: Reza? Is that you? How did you even get down there?

[REZA and LILY pop their heads out from underneath the table cloth.]

REZA: Well, we wanted cake.

LILY: So we snuck over here while you weren’t looking.

KELLY: If you wanted cake you could’ve just asked. I’m sure the baker would be more than happy to give you samples.

LILY: But it’s not fun that way!

DELARA: Reza, joonam, I will give you my portion. I know you only did this because you’re hungry.

FARIBA: No, he’s clearly doing it because he wants to mess with us.

DELARA: You only see your brother as a villain.

FARIBA: And you only see him as an innocent baby.

[They devolve into bickering. LILY, seeing her chance, motions toward the bakery’s storeroom. REZA and LILY quickly sneak there. Cakes line the shelves all around them.]

LILY: Woah. Am I in heaven?

REZA: It is pretty nice, yeah. But… do you think we should apologize?

LILY: For what? We didn’t do anything wrong, not really.

REZA: Yeah, I know. It’s just that I hate to see my mom and sister fighting. Ever since she got engaged to Oscar, it’s been constant.

LILY: Is it because he isn’t Persian like you are?

REZA: No, or at least I don’t think so. My mom never cared much about that sort of thing. [he looks out the window, where FARIBA and DELARA are still fighting. OSCAR, meanwhile, looks dejected.] The wedding’s just gotten everyone super tense.

LILY: Now that I think about it, my brother has been looking kind of sad lately.

KELLY: Then maybe you should pull a “prank” that fixes it!

[LILY and REZA jump.]

REZA: Ahh! It’s like you came out of nowhere!

KELLY: I’ve been told I have that effect, yes.

LILY: How did you even find us?

KELLY: I’m a wedding planner, I notice things. And what I’ve noticed about your families is that they really, really care. About everything. With strong emotions like that all tied up into this one event, it’s easy for it to go up in flames.

REZA: Well, what are we supposed to do about that? We’re Persian, we get passionate about the weather!

KELLY: Look, I’ve seen a lot of couples, so I know a thing or two about who’s going to last. I think Fariba and Oscar can, but not if your mother keeps butting into the planning.

LILY: So, what I’m hearing is, if we somehow devise a plan to get Dr. Talaee out of the picture today, everything will be solved?

KELLY: No, I’m not saying that officially. But I’m not… not saying that.

LILY: I get you. Reza, we have a job to do. But first, cake. [She grabs a handful of the shelf cake, and practically melts as she puts it into her mouth.] Mmmm.

KELLY: That’s definitely a biohazard.

LILY: A bio-what-now? Anyway, we need to think big. Something that is sure to get your mom out of the store, at least for a little while.

REZA: Well, there is this one shop she really likes, Parisa’s Persian Persuasions. Whenever there’s a sale, she practically drops everything to go. It’s actually across the street from here.

LILY: Hmm. We can work with that. Kelly, give me your phone.

KELLY: Excuse me?

LILY: Just do it. [KELLY reluctantly hands it over. LILY furiously taps some buttons before holding up the screen triumphantly.] Boom. You’re looking at the account owner of parisapersianpersuasions@gmail.com. Now, how does she normally find out about the sales?

REZA: Uh, she knows Parisa personally, so she just gets a call.

LILY: Well, looks like Parisa’s moving into the modern age and has opened an Instagram account to advertise her business. What’s your mom’s account again?

REZA: TheGoldenPersianGirl? But Lily, there’s no way this is gonna-

LILY: Aaaand sent a DM telling her about the sale. Thanks Kelly. [She gives the phone back.]

REZA: My mom is a doctor, she isn’t going to be this gullible to believe-

DELARA [offscreen]: Parisa’s having a sale! I have to go, they only last a few hours and I can’t have her sell out of saffron again. It’s already such a hassle to get it with these trade sanctions!

[Sound of a door chime tinkling]

REZA: I stand corrected.

KELLY: Well, that may have given your siblings time to pick their cake, but this isn’t going to be a permanent solution. You probably should think of something else before she realizes the sale is a scam. I really should get back to them, though. [She leaves]

REZA: Now what?

LILY: I’m thinking, I’m thinking.

REZA: If only there was a way they could compromise, where my sister could get the modern cake she wants while my mom—and the entire Persian side of my family—can enjoy it. Maybe if we mix the flavors?

LILY: That’s it! What if we convince the baker to make a vanilla-saffron cake? That’ll taste good, I’m sure of it! It can be frosted in the regular American style, or whatever tastes best, while still having the flavors of both sides.

REZA: That… could work. But where will we get the saffron?

LILY: Parisa’s shop is just there, right? I’ll go get the saffron, staying out of your mom’s way, of course, while you get to the kitchen. [She shoves Reza out of the storeroom.] Ta-ta! [She rushes across the shop and out the door.]

REZA: Wha- aaaand she’s gone. Great.

[He turns, noticing a swinging door with a sign that says “Employees Only: Do Not Enter.”]

REZA: Welp. In for a penny, I guess.

[REZA swings the door open. Two CHEFS, gathered around an oven, turn to look at him.]

CHEF #1: Kid, you’re not supposed to be in here.

REZA: Oh no, I thought this was the bathroom. Whoopsie.

CHEF #2: No harm done. Bathroom’s to the right.

REZA: Uh, great! But, um, while I’m here, I was wondering… do you have any saffron?

CHEF #2: Nah, that’s way too expensive.

REZA: Well what if I provided the saffron? Would you be able to put it into a wedding cake?

CHEF #1: You’d need a helluva lot of saffron.

REZA: Okay, let’s just say that hypothetically, I get enough saffron. Would you be able to make a great-tasting cake? And maybe pair it with your classic vanilla flavor?

CHEF #2: I mean yes, theoretically. We worked with saffron in culinary school so we know how to make it taste good. A chantilly cream icing would pair nicely, too. Why’d you ask?

REZA: Well… [He trails off. The CHEFS stare at each other in confusion.]

REZA: Any minute now…

[A pause. Then, the door swings open. LILY struts in, holding a small baggie of saffron.]

LILY: Behold! Saffron.

CHEF #1: That’s not nearly enough for a wedding cake.

LILY [grinning]: Hold on.

[DELARA walks in]

DELARA: The strangest thing happened! Parisa called me as I was walking to the store to tell me about the sale, as if she hadn’t messaged me on Instagram a few minutes prior.

LILY: Yeah. Funny how those things work.

DELARA: Lucky for me, I got there before all her regular customers! [She holds up a larger bag of saffron.] Lily told me all about her plan for a new cake, and I want to help.

REZA [whispering to LILY]: I thought you were going to avoid my mother, not recruit her!

LILY [whispering to REZA]: I ran into her! I had to improvise.

CHEF #1: Your cake-tasting session is almost over. There isn’t nearly enough time to bake a whole new cake with this saffron mixed in.

DELARA: I’m sure the bride and groom would be happy to come back and try again next time. Don’t worry, I will compensate you accordingly.

LILY: And hey, we can sample a taste if you mix it into that cream over there. It can’t take that long, right?

CHEF #2: I guess not. [He mixes in a pinch of saffron, making the frosting a light yellow color.] There. Take it to the bride and groom, see if they like it.

[DELARA, LILY, and REZA, who is carrying the frosting, walk back toward the table where FARIBA and OSCAR are still sampling cakes. KELLY acknowledges them with a nod.]

FARIBA: There you guys are! I’ve been wondering where you two troublemakers went off to.

OSCAR: Oh, they snuck into the storeroom and then the kitchen.

FARIBA: You knew and didn’t say anything?

OSCAR: Was I… supposed to?

FARIBA: Fair. I guess I better get used to you observing things better than I can! Well anyway, sit down, sit down! All of the flavors are good, but we feel like there’s something missing. Maybe you three can help us decide?

REZA: Actually, we may have something better. [He thrusts the plate with the frosting toward his sister.] Try it.

[FARIBA and OSCAR gingerly dip their index fingers into the frosting before licking them.]

FARIBA: Is that… saffron?

DELARA: Yes! Straight from Parisa’s shop.

FARIBA: Does this bakery even offer saffron?

DELARA: Well, no, but I gave them some of my stash. I thought you and Oscar would like it. But… you don’t have to accept it on my part. I know this is your wedding, not mine. I just want it to be good for you, and to see you happy, that’s all.

FARIBA: I know, Maman, and I appreciate how much you care, really. But I’ll be happy as long as I get to marry the love of my life and have you all with me while doing it. 

DELARA: That’s all I want, too.

OSCAR: Same, of course… but I also want this frosting. It’s good.

REZA: Oscar, you’re becoming Persian already!

KELLY: Alright, I’ll make sure to tell the bakery. They’ll probably charge us extra for the custom order though.

DELARA: That’s okay. Anything for my only daughter.

FARIBA: Thanks maman, and thanks to you two, Reza and Lily, for making us see what really matters.

LILY: Oh, this wasn’t about you at all. It was about eating good cake.

REZA: Lily…

LILY: Fine, fine. You’re welcome, or whatever. Just don’t forget to order me some extra cake!

[They laugh, and smiling, place their order for their cultural-mashup cake.]

BIOGRAPHY

I’m Ellaheh Gohari, and I’m entering my fourth (and sadly final) year on the Patriot Post’s staff and third year as co-EIC. I love learning new things and can often be found going down Wikipedia rabbit holes in search of random knowledge. Outside of the newsroom, I serve as co-president to both the Girls Excelling in Math and Science club and the Science National Honor Society. A science-lover through and through, I enjoy exploring the subject through research projects with UMiami, volunteer tutoring with OTTER and fact-checks with my job at MediaWise!

What motivated you to write this piece?

It’s so rare to find good Iranian/Persian representation in Western media, so I wanted to do my part in creating some!

What is your ideal writing environment?

I write everywhere – on my iPad, my laptop, and even my phone! When I’m writing creatively, though, I enjoy listening to the soothing melody of Pink Floyd’s album: The Dark Side of the Moon.